Friday, August 06, 2004

Campaign Kickoff

We keep hearing different stories from the candiates. It's degraded into a giant game of "he said, she said, he lied, I was misquoted" and we're all going to lose. Despite our best attempts at civility, politics is a dirty game. Having said that, I'm announcing candidacy for the office of the President. My dog, Charlie, is going to run for president of the United States. Yes, you read it here first, My Dog CHARLIE for President in '04

Sure, you may think I'm crazy but consider these facts:
  • He's probably smarter than the other two bozos already running
  • He knows how to mark a fire hydrant all by himself
  • He doesn't hump (much) on people's legs
  • He's already king of the block, top dog in the 'hood, captain of the subdivision, he might as well go ALL the way.
His platform is going to be, "A dog biscuit on every table. And every one of 'em is mine to eat. Woof!"

His first campaign stop is going to be my backyard, where he will leave me with glorious "presents" to ponder for days to come. See how giving he is? And he'll smell from corner to corner in the process. Nothing gets past that doggie, no sir, he can sniff a breadcrumb from miles away. Think the terrorists will be able to sneak into NYC past Charlie? Think again!

Imagine what this will do to foreign diplomacy. It will now be socially acceptable and downright expected for politicians to smell each other's tails.

The oval office would make a great spot for a doggie bead. And he probably sleeps less than most of the senators (despite snoozing through most of the day.) I'm guessing his first state of the union address would be met with applause (maybe even a-paws, mind you) because he would not pre-empt Monday night football or CSI. Gotta love that, right?

Until next time...

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