For starters, I was notified that I have to go to court in LA tomorrow. Something about a restraining order and a custody hearing for my three daughters. Sounds all well and good (well, maybe not) but, the trouble is, I don't have any kids! I don't live in LA, I don't have three daughters and I don't know why I would need to attend a custody hearing.
To make matters worse, the wife is emailing the husband all of this blah, blah, blah about how he got drunk and pushed her when they were on the Santa Monica Pier. Sounds pretty horrible, but I've not been to the Santa Monica Pier, I've not been pushing anybody around, I don't have kids, and I don't see why I have to be reading all of this. Not when I nicely told them, "I'm not the Carol you're looking for, OK?!?" Geesh, what does it take to get some people to realize their auto reply is not going to the correct place? After four or five, "Hello?!? I'm not the Carol you're looking for!" I usually give up but now there's a court, judge and all involved. I might go to jail over this and, heck, I'm not even involved in any of it. (Daughters? What daughters?)
People also sign up for all kinds of websites with my email. I get email all of the time, "Thank you for signing up for..." Trouble is, I never actually sign up for these things. They just type in some random account information or they got their email address wrong or whatever.
The thing is, it's not just the NSA that's been snooping on us. If you are not careful about how you address email, it might just go to the wrong person. And, should it happen to go to the wrong person, why, you can't expect any amount of privacy. Heck, I'm thinking now about writing a book. I probably could write an entire book, and it'd be pretty funny too, containing all of the crap emails I get.
So, now that you know there might be a book in the works, don't you feel like you don't want to tell me anything? Please?!? Because, like I'm due in court in a matter of hours and I really don't want to face another custody hearing or like drop out of cheapporno.com yet again this week, OK? Did I mention the plane tickets? Yeah, somebody once got airline tickets using my email. I *almost* exchanged them but decided I would just be a little bit mean and not tell them their flight was changed (oh, and they had to pay more if they wanted to check a bag. Enjoy the flight to Florida, you idiot aka she who doesn't even know her own email address.)
Mercy me. When will these people ever learn?!?
Until next time...