Thursday, August 16, 2012

A Dirty Joke of Olympic Proportions

A little levity for today's post. This image comes from a recent trip to my local grocery where they had on display (I swear I am not making this up-I could not make up stuff this good!) an entire floor-to-above-eye-level display of greeting cards featuring none other than Justin Bieber. Oh groan! I am going to have nightmares about this, I swear.

On another note...today's joke! This is a dirty joke of Olympic proportions. Enjoy.

So, the Olympic ceremony comes to a close and, at the closing ceremony Dolly Parton is singing for the Queen but, unfortunately for the free world, terrorists strike and set off a big bomb. Both the Queen and poor Dolly are instantly killed.

Each goes up to Heaven's gate where they meet St. Peter. St. Peter gives them the news. "There have been a lot of deaths today and so, because it is so busy up here, I've only got room for one of you today. Because of this, I will need each of you to tell me why you think you should be let into Heaven. After reviewing what you both have to say, I will then decide and let one of you in. The other will have to sit and wait until tomorrow."

Dolly Parton jumps at the chance and goes first. "I'm the great Dolly Parton!" She cries out. "I've given the world many great country songs and I've entertained millions with my singing, songwriting, and craft. Not to mention I have these wonderful great breasts that God has given me. I now would like to share them with all of Heaven!" She opens her top to reveal her large breasts.

St. Peter nods and says, "Very good. I'll make a note here," while writing in his clipboard.

Next up is the Queen. She waves her hand and asks for a glass of water. She takes the glass of water and goes over to a nearby toilet. She pours the water down the toilet and pulls the handle to send the water down the drain, back to Earth.

"Most excellent, Your Majesty!" Says St. Peter, "You may now pass into Heaven!"

The Queen then goes through the gate and into Heaven but not before Dolly complains. "What was that all about?" She asks, "I mean, I told you about my wonderful singing and songwriting and showed you my impressive breasts and all she did was...was flush a toilet for Pete's sake!"

To which St. Peter replies, "In Heaven, as it is on Earth, Dearest Dolly, a royal flush beats two of a kind, even if it is a really big pair."

(Doh!)

Until next time...

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