Monday, July 16, 2012
Please, Mr. Big Bird, My Tripod is Not Your Kind
I looked up, saw the big birdie bird, and thought, "Oh, you're not a seagull!" Yeah, no, ahem, "stuff" Sherlock! It wasn't a seagull, but rather this large-ish looking thing glaring back at me. The funny part happened next. The bird looked at me, still sort of glaring away, annoying as all get-up that I was on his (ahem, "her," "it's," whatever) beach, trying to rid the world of all things human, when he (yes, again) caught sight of my tripod. Now, for some strange reason, perhaps a reason only a great big birdie bird might be able to understand, said bird was quite enamored with my tripod. Quite enamored. As in, tried to mate with, sorta, kinda, my tripod. Really. Seriously? A tripod? Dude, it's got like three legs. Have you no shame?!?
I guess, shame is not for four feet tall birds who flop along the shore, as the big birdie bird flapped along, stood on one leg for a while, checked out the tripod, and then, eventually, flew on off down the beach. Ruffled a few feathers, my trusty old tripod did, but it wasn't for long. Nope, that bird had other plans, and made off down the beach after a quick dip of the forked toes in the sand. Leaving me to wonder. Did it actually (maybe?) think my tripod was some kind of a bird? Was it just annoyed at the random display of stupid human species unfolding before it? A mix of the two? Neither one? Out of fish to eat? Afraid of the sunrise?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Oh, and should you happen to know what kind of birdie said giant "I'm not a seagull" actually is, please do kindly let me know. Best guess, so far is some kind of a giant heron, but, you know, it could just be a tripod with wings, couldn't it? (Do they make those nowadays? Don't they? Hmmm. I bet they even have an iPhone attachment so, you know, so your iPhone can up and fly away. Fly like the wind, little smart phone, fly like the wind!)
Until next time...