Friday, March 05, 2010

Cleaning Laundry from "The Hamper of Doom"


LaundryDayAtBlueHouse, originally uploaded by carolsLittleWorld.

Hello, you've reached the blog of Carol. We're sorry, but she can't take your call right now she's busy fending off...no actually she's been eaten by a large pile of laundry and can't come to the blog right now.

For those of your curious, she slipped into danger a few years ago-a few years back when her friend, Steve, suggested she help him find a "really big hamper" so that he could, in fact, "go months" without doing laundry. "Hmmm," she thought, "that might not be a bad idea."

NEWSFLASH! It was a horrible idea.

Since the arrival of the "giant hamper" clothing has never been clean. It's never been empty. Socks have gone lost, shirts disappear and clean bluejeans, why they vanish right before your eyes. It's like one minute they're there and the next? *Poof* Gone.

Somehow, everyday, the mountain gets a little bit bigger. And stronger. The teeth get more ferocious. And the fangs? Oh, Good Lord! Let me tell you about the fangs...it's not a pretty sight in there, in that laundry room with the "hamper of doom." Oh sure, occasionally it'll let you get away with a clean sock or two (never matching, of course) but it's does that just to throw you a bone...to keep you coming back for more...and, just when you think, "oh, I've got that dragon slayed?" Yup, you guessed it. It rears up its ugly head, rises up, and growls at you once again. Laundry piled so high the giant "hamper of doom," even though it sits on a platform with industrial sized wheels, will not roll. Laundry piled so high it's bound to tip and take out the power supply for an entire city just south of where you live. Laundry piled so high you need a haz-mat outfit and pair of goggles just to "go in and test the perimeter."

So, if you're reading this, and you'd like a word of advice, here it is. From Carol to you-never, ever, under any circumstances purchase a large laundry basket and, whatever you do, never leave it in the corner, in an "easy" place where it can tempt you...twist you into thinking you don't really *need* clean clothing and that, yeah, you can go "just a few more days without putting a load of laundry up."

Really, it's such a bad idea in more ways than you can imagine.

Until next time...

3 comments:

mythopolis said...

The trick is to buy stuff at Goodwill on 1/2 price day. These things you can wear until dirty, at which time you can use them for clean-up rags, then throw them away, and go back to Goodwill for more. Cuts laundry time i 1/2!!

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Carol said...

Lol. I wish I could do that Mythopolis. I have a Goodwill right near me but, unfortunately, all of the people who seem to donate are very small. It's all stuff that's like size 0. Not fitting for me, that's for sure!

(Maybe if I lost some weight maybe?!?)