Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Chartreuse Stop Kissing Orange Already

Maybe I'm biased but I think that this is my best title for a photo ever. Ok, maybe not absolute best, given the probably tens of thousands of images I've snapped over the years, but I like it. I must admit, I like it.

On the bright side, Ram is back and he's found his lost set of car keys. It's good to see that, even while detained in prison on those pesky felony kidnapping charges he's retained his sense of humor. I really missed him while he was gone, though I was quick to notice a correlation between his travels to Mexico and the recent swine flu outbreak. I am more than willing to chalk it up to coincidence, however, especially in light of the fact that he did not get very far south of the border, thanks to his sliding fake mustache and his dry humor. (Maybe those felony convictions had something to do with it as well.)

I was very saddened to hear of his impending imprisonment, because, while harboring strong feelings of romance for him, plotting how to take out the dreaded Snapple lady and all, I was secretly hoping he could one day provide me with a life-size promotional cut-out of The Stig. (From his blog, he once informed us, as his "refrigeration unit" was on the fritz, that, "As you can appreciate, proper refrigeration is a critical business requirement. In fact, after life-size promotional cut-outs of NASCAR drivers holding cans of beer and video surveillance cameras, it ranks as one of the most important features of modern-day convenience shopping.)

Sadly, his reign at the Food Here has come to an end and he now faces many years behind bars, enjoying cable television, a free gym membership, and all you can eat fried opossum buffets. But, on the down side, he might find himself doing some laundry for a change. Don't worry, Ram, they won't make you use your own quarters in the machines, at least I believe the prison budgets have not been cut that much (quite yet.) [Be glad you don't work for Top Gear, as not only have their budgets been cut but they might actually have to work with girls (Oh the humanity!)]

Speaking of "refrigeration units" have you noticed how Twitter has become full of tweets from those evil people trying to sell things lately? It's only a matter of days, or perhaps "a few cavity searches away" (in Ram-speak) until we all get collectively tweeted about that uber-annoying "little blue pill." I can almost smell the tweetdeck from where I sit, "order now! Free Viagra!" coming soon to a twitter near me. (Oh the horror!)

Free pharmaceuticals, Ram, swine flu, it all hails from Mexico, man. Makes a girl wonder, what am I doing stuck up this way, typing to you at midnight when I should really be sleeping and dreaming about a better way. (Well, you know, better until your cell mate becomes one with your inner prison bitch and whizzes on your pillow down at your local gray bar Hilton.)

Best advice for today? Don't bend over, pick up any soap, or stare too long at any "little blue" tweets. Oh, and, separate the whites from those brightly colored jumpsuits, least you find yourself wearing some pink underpants.

Until next time...

3 comments:

mythopolis said...

Funny blog! And, yes...that is a good title for a photo!

Carol said...

Thanks, Mythos!

It seemed like the best when I wrote it, now maybe not so much.

Ram Venkatararam said...

Ah Carol,

Thanks for the post. It made me laugh. You're a very funny woman!

Ram

o.s. I know it's not from this post but the rolls photo is amazing.