Monday, February 26, 2007

I'd Like to Thank the Academy and....ZZZzzzz


NightJesterNo1, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Ok, I admit it. The Oscars were so boring last night, I feel asleep. Right in the middle. Right in the middle of the Oscars, I feel asleep. Zzzzz. Even fresh pizza bits and some happening freshly made lemony iced tea could not keep me awake, I tell you.

Now, I know you've grown used to me giving you my "extra snarky" take on the Oscars and, believe me, in years passed, I've actually enjoyed that. But, this year, the Oscars were so boring even I, queen of all things snark, couldn't stay awake long enough to snark out some snark-a-ly clever responses. It was boring. It was dull. It was celebrating a host of movies I'll never bother to see. It was 99 hours long and, did I mention, boring?

I did stay awake long enough to snark together a few observations and, in no particular order, here they are:

Somebody needs to tell Al Gore he's not vice president anymore. What's with that? They kept introducing him as "Vice President, Al Gore." Didn't these people notice the last election? I mean, I'm certainly not a Cheney fan by a long-shot (buckshot in the face, anyone?) but at least I'm snarky enough to know that he's Vice President. Don't these Hollywood idiots remember enough history to know that titles in the US went out with that *other* old president, George Washington? Get with the program and start ignoring the megalomaniac Gore. He's bad for you, bad for us, and totally hypocritical. Pulls up to an awards show in a gas guzzling limo to accept a phony award for a movie about "global warming" where he tells us all to take the bus. Yeah right. The boy who would be king needs to sit down, shut up, and stop stuffing his pants on the cover of Rolling Stone magazine. He's a joke that's just not funny anymore and, every time you keep telling it to me, well, I find myself laughing less and less until, now, he's just starting to piss me off. I'd be really pissed off if I weren't so bored I passed out. Obama's going to be king, deal with it.

Dreamgirls was great. Awesome singing and Beyonce looked fab in her gown. Metallics are the new black and everything was all "aglitter" which is grand. It will be boring by the time the next awards show rolls around though and Hollywood, being seventeen years behind what everybody wants, will undoubtedly fail to notice. Call it the trend that should fade but probably never will, if you must but, ladies, put that shimmery crap-o-la away. We've had our fill, now go back to black.

Jack Nickelson is getting older. He has less hair and his dates are getting younger. Actually, I take that back, his dates are getting crazy kiddie young. If this trend keeps up, next year, he'll not only be a pedophile but he'll be completely bald, wear no sunglasses, and have to pull up to the ceremony in a limo with kiddie wheels. Jack, man, get a grip. Date a woman in her 50's once, just to keep the jail-bait at bay next year, ok, dude?

The kid from "Little Miss Sunshine" is a darling. Really. They should have given her a little gold statue. It would have matched her dress. She's a princess, now give her another starring role before we shoot you.

Jennifer Hudson deserved her golden accessory. She's on her way to matching Kelly Clarkson as "the little miss American Idol who could." You go girl. Rock on with your bad self.

Who knew Clint Eastwood could speak Italian? Did you catch that? The translation? All I heard was a bunch of "tu ti's" that didn't make any sense. He barely speaks 3 words in English and, all this time, how were we supposed to know he was holding out on us? Ciao, Clint! Next movie, make it 4 ok? Even if one of them is Roman. What's next? (Is Chuck Norris suddenly going to burst into Swahili in his next movie?)

British people go home with a lot of awards and have cooler accents. Yeah, yeah, maybe so but, I can't tell them apart, so there. Somebody got best actress but I was snoozing so I didn't care. (My pillow tastes better that your accent. So there.)

Martin Scorsese's eyebrows are bigger than he is. I think they gave him an award just to fend off the small woodland creatures nesting on his face.

Ellen's funny but only in small doses. Actually, I take that back, she was one of the high points of the evening. It was just too long, too drawn out, and too much Oscar for me. But Ellen was good. I liked her. The digital camera bit was funny but then, I'm a photographer so, of course, I'd say that.

Did you catch that dance troop that dances in silhouette behind the curtains? Fantastic. And, all this time, I thought they only did car commercials. Who knew? They should have just mimed the entire evening. I would have stayed awake for that.

George Clooney is turning into a joke of himself. His hair has it's own point. It's like a "widow's peak" without the widow. Tom Cruise is still short, hasn't won any awards, doesn't deserve any awards, and should just go home. Leonardo looks lost without his boat and he's short too. (Don't they invite any tall actors to these things?) Since when did "Marky-Mark" become a serious actor? I'm sorry but I can't get visions of new kids dancing out of my head long enough to deal with it. (No award for you, buster.)

Melissa Ethridge is gay. Yeah, yeah, tell me something I didn't know. "It's the only naked man that will sleep in my bedroom" Ha ha. Now go back to writing some music already. Trust us, you don't have what it takes to do stand up. Sit down and sing already. You next album has been, what, four years in the making? Put a move on it before your guitar gets dusty and you get replaced by an "American Idol: season 42" runner up at the top of the pop charts.

Samuel L. Jackson should have gotten a motha-phucking award for Snakes on a motha-phucking plane. It wasn't a good movie, and he wasn't good in it, but who else could string together nine million "motha-phucking's" to make a movie? Don't they have an award for that? They give out "best adaptation," "3rd string costume designer," and "assistant sound man," and those aren't really entertaining either, right? In fact, that was my biggest complaint of the evening. Too damn many "motha-phucking" awards to watch in one night. Next year, take a clue, Hollywood and don't strain your arms from twisting to pat yourselves on the back so hard, ok?

Some of the Coppola Klan was there but I just couldn't bear to look. It hurt my eyes. Or maybe that was Martin Scorsese's brow, I'm not sure.

Yeah, yeah, ok. Next year I'll try to stay awake for more than an hour in the middle. Maybe next year they should keep it to an hour and give awards away to movies that actually deserve them?

Now, that would keep me awake.

Until next time...

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Chucky Runs Home


ChuckysFree, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

This is one of the shots from this weekend's outing to the Town Lake Animal Shelter in Austin, Texas.

Meet Chucky. Chucky is a labradoor poodle mix (a "labradoodle") who was up for adoption at the shelter. This is a rather not-so-great shot of Chucky. He was busy running off to a new home-too busy to pose for me in fact.

I wish all my shots had turned out this badly. I wish all the dogs were busy running off to new homes with kids, eagerly awaiting new yards to sniff out. I wish none of the dogs there had time to stop and pose for me. I wish there were no fences, no borders, no boundaries, no kennels, no shelters, no euthanasia. But, sadly, that's not the case.

The Town Lake Animal Shelter in Austin has tons of animals up for adoption. Tons of animals waiting for new homes, tons of animals just waiting to burst out and run into the arms of families with kids who love them, walk them, feed them, and yes, even try to put them on yellow leashes.

This is the same shelter Charlie came from. This is the same shelter that has to "put down" thousands of dogs each year. This is the same shelter that has lots of dogs, just like Chucky, sitting, waiting for a new home, waiting for somebody, anybody, to come and rescue them.

I'm just glad I got to see Chucky's happy ending, even if the picture didn't come out so great.

Until next time...

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Idol Reason


YouWillBeMine, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

In the "I'm sure I'm not the only one to notice or the first to point it out" department, this years' contestants for American Idol are all over the map. At first listen to the men of the week, I was, like most folks, quite disappointed. Sure, there were a few good men (hey, that should be a slogan or something) out there but, for the most part, the testerone-poisioned of the lot left me a little, excuse the pun, flat. Last night was ladies night and, wow, what a twist. The show stopper at the end was just icing on the cake, the ladies trampled the men all over the map this year (and, to quote Ginger Rogers, "they did it in heels" too.) Paula Abdul was not the first (or last) to say it but, "you go, girls!" I honestly hope the Idol winner is a female this year. Oh, how I do miss Ace, my helpful hardware man but, damn, the male talent is just so not-up-to-par this year. What'd you do with the money, fellas? We're sure you didn't spend the money your Mommas gave you on singing lessons, like you told her, so like, was it online Bingo! Was that it? Ok, I get it. You had to finance your crack habits and internet porn somehow but, geesh, trying to pass yourselves off as singers at this stage of the competition is just outlandish, even for Idol, so like give it up and go back to waiting tables already.

Since this is my first grande Idol rant of the year, this would be a good time to "pick on" Paula. Will somebody tell me why Paula is so picked on? What did she do? People keep saying she doesn't have Coke in that glass and that she slurs her words. Have you seen some of those contestants? After listening to some of these people sing for 18 hours straight, all the time pretending to be kind, and lend them an ear, wouldn't you slur your words too? I mean, personally, I think it's a wonder she can speak at all. Did you see that women who was dressed up like a chicken, 50 years old, and thought that she could actually sing? Nevermind slurring, I would go mute after that walked in the door. And she has to sit downwind from the likes of Simon on top of it. Bring on the rum and coke, I say! Paula's had some sound judgement and been extra nice this year. We love you Paula, we really do. It's the chicken lady I have problems with but then, I suppose, that's a rant for another day.

I never thought I'd "hear" myself "type" this but, after last night's performance, I'd have to say, "down with men!" The ladies had it going on and the men were just sorta, kinda wannabees.

Come on ladies, get your practice in. "That's Ms. Idol to you...."

Until next fa-la-la-la-la...

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

That's Between Me and My Voodoo Priest, Thank You Very Much


AmericanVoodoo, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Happy Fat Tuesday, y'all! It's Fat Tuesday in the 'Quarter today. I hope the party's going strong because, as we all know, it's shuts down once that clock strikes a hand of twelve. The fat lady sings, the drinks stop flowing, and all the sinners, well, let's just say, "repent! I hardly knew ya!" They say the motto of Las Vegas is "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." You could almost say the motto of New Orleans is "what happens in New Orleans says between me and my Voodoo Pristess" (or Priest, as the case may be.) Sure, the church gets involved but then, doesn't that just make it all that much more naughty? You could almost argue that it's more fun in NOLA since it's better to be bad and bad is better than just wasted but that's probably an argument best saved for another day, and maybe even another city. Today's Fat Tuesday, y'all, go have a drink for me!

Had my bad self some King Cake yesterday. Didn't get the baby. Lucky me (or, um, unlucky me, as it were, seeing as now I don't have to buy the next cake but I miss out on one year of good fortune.) It's horribly sweet cake but I always feel I must partake, even a smidgen. What other time of year can you eat something that's purple, green, and yellow and not suspect salmonella or something entirely more sinister (then again, with the Voodoo Priests running about, on this their "high" day, maybe sinister's not such a good thing.)

Just when I was starting to think that all the voodoo stuff was doing nothing for me, "old hat" and all, I got in the car, listened to some happening jazz music and several authentic Swahili renditions of Iko-Iko (I never do tire of that tune) only to start thinking about Storyville and Robby Robertson. I click on the podling and what's the first song off the shuffle today? "Somewhere down the crazy river....." Yipes!

Voodoo's kind of like that thought, isn't it? Just when you start not to believe, it drags you back in again.

But then again, you could almost say the same thing about New Orleans itself, couldn't you?

Until next time...

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Soft and Fluffy Odds and Ends for Sunday


ALadysPortrait, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

This is Maggie, from the Humane Society. She's a great dog, part chow, very soft and fluffy with a long tail and cute, pointed ears.

I've been very lazy and have yet to finish off shooting the Town Lake Animal Center or the Service Dogs. Yesterday was fantastic though, we got to to into multiple empty buildings in Burnet and shoot around lots of old junk, not to mention I got to shoot the other end of the train (that would be the Hill Country Flyer) which was parked in Burnet, where it rests when it's not in Cedar Park. The sun was high and bright, which sucked, but we got to sneak (um, "break and enter?") into a bunch of abandoned places which did wonders for the light.

It's amazing how, when you let yourself into someplace fantastic, the light suddenly starts looking better, isn't it? Well, maybe you don't know, but you can take my word for it.

Today was also eventful in my old 'hood as it was the annual running of the Daytona 500 over in that *other* sunshine state: Florida. Rumor has it that my least favorite Law&Order re-run thief (Nicolas Cage) coupled with my most favorite American Idol alum (Kelly Clarkson-no relation to the school and believe me, I would know) were part of the "stationary" entertainment. Sounds like hot wheels cool tunes, and um, a really crappy fake NY accent saying, "Gentlemen, start your engines..." to me.

And speaking of "zoom zoom" B&H should be open again, at least I hope it is. I need to get me a new wide angle, a flashcard reader for the laptop, and like more gobs of compact flash (when do I not need some of that?)

In other more, "boring" news, I have switched over to the new blogger and, from what I can tell, nothing has blown up. To quote that great philosopher, Marvin the Martian, "Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth shattering kaboom!"

I guess it was just so soft and fluffy, nobody heard it.

Until next time...

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Strange Happenings


Suburban Smokestack, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

In the, "now I've heard everything, and this time I really mean it," department, the other day I heard Bruce Hornsby and Ricky Skaggs do a bluegrass version of Rick James' Superfreak. ("She's a very kinky girl...the kind you don't take home to mother....")

In other, um, "kinkier" news, word has it that Flickr is messing up, and this time we mean in a big way. It seems they are now getting people's pictures mixed up. Mixed up as in you might see somebody else's pictures in your stream. Wouldn't be such a bad thing except that Flickr is now used for image hosting for tons of websites and, well, let's just say the porno industry loves it too.

Can't you just imagine the screw up's this is going to create? I mean, some poor, innocent little kid is going to try to go to some SpongeBog, Cartoon, or Bugs Bunny website, only to find a smiling, happy porno image. Call me crazy but that's not the kind of "tickle me Elmo" you want your kids to write home about, right?

Lastly, in entirely "non kinky" news (I hope) I just got back from a trip up to Burnet and Liberty Hill. I will start posting images once, well, Ha! once Flickr "settles down" a bit.

Hey, stranger things have happened.

Until next time...

Friday, February 16, 2007

Self Portrait


GhostOfMeNo4, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Yes, that's really me in there.

I remember a whole bunch of stuff about the day I took this picture. Where I was, why I went there, who I was with, what I did, what I ate, what the weather was like, how I felt like I was falling through the floor in that creeky old building, what I was wearing (and why) and, well, just lots more. But, I'm not supposed to tell you those things.

This picture, you see, is a bit of a mystery. And, it's supposed to be that way. It's designed to "keep 'em guessing" as it were.

So, mum's the word, other than, yeah, that's me and, yes, I was there.

Until next time...

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Where the Wild Things Are


DogFightNo1, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Just got the news that I've been juried into the Austin Visual Arts Association's "Where the Wild Things Are" exhibit. The show was juried by Randy Jewart and will be held at the Ladybird Johnson Wildflower Center starting March 1. There will be an opening reception on Saturday, March 10th from 1-3 pm. If you are in the Austin area, please come down and check it out.

Yay! I get to go to the Wildflower Center. And leave some artwork behind. Nothing quite like flowers in the springtime, is there? It's shaping up to be a wild, wild spring.

Until next time...

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sky


CloudForms9931-1, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

This is what the sky looks like out the back of my house, during sunset, just after a violent storm.

Until next time...

Friday, February 09, 2007

It's 12:01 and I'm Still Here


TailsUp, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Ok, so maybe it's not exactly 12:01 but I am, exactly, still here. I haven't vanished. Haven't (yet!) gone *poof* into the great expanse of ex-bloggers in the sky. In fact, Norah Jones just came on the podling and I'm feeling rather, um, shall we say, content today. Yes, you read that right. I'm actually sort of happy. Things are going along ok, even though I've had my ups and downs, on the whole, I am still enjoying myself. I can't help it if I like what I do now, can I?

But, being the full-contact pessimist that I am, I am keenly aware that bad news lurks just over that next horizon. What could possible go wrong, you might ask? Oh, laugh, laugh, I've learned to not ask that question. Ask that question, you see, and you just might find out the answer. And that, my snowflakes, would not be pretty.

For starters, my Mac has taken upon itself to stink. Quite literally. It's giving off an odd smell sometimes when I turn it on. At first I wasn't sure it was the Mac but then I googled and, sure enough, there are known issues with the early iMac G5's components. If you don't believe me, google the following: "imac g5 burning smell" and see how many hits you can come up with (best guess? One more now that you're reading this!)

On the good news front, Flickr and Blogger appear to still be working. For another day. At least. Sorta kinda. You get the idea. It's only a matter of time, as they say and, yes, as a matter of fact, I do feel like somebody looking up at the bottom of a shoe. Drop boot, squoosh goes me, anyone?

I shot the first part of the "doggie" project but have been quite behind in other things. My house is quite dirty again (clean me! Really!) the Compact Flash pile isn't getting any smaller (I've officially run out and, since the computer is smoking, have to resort to "plan b" which is...well...I'll get back to you on that one) and I've started poking around looking for some web hosting.

Ah yes, web hosting. It's enough to make you want to poke your eyes out with a stick. It's so confusing and I understand it all. I can only imagine what a beginner would be going through in my shoes. Gasp.

Ah, you'd think by now I'd learn not to do that (Gasp, I mean.) It might just very well be my last.

Until next oxygen deprived breathing intake...

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

It's the End of the World


PetesGoldenEyes, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

I discuss many different topics on this website. I talk about the weather. I speak of cats. I gab about art. I pine over American Idol contestants. I rip into TiVo. I cover everything from murders to music (and, sometimes both in the same journal entry-thanks to my oh-so-clever "friends" from the ...Trail of the Dead and the haunting murder ballads of Neko Case.) I "yap and snap" about bloggers, what's on television, what's showing in galleries, and I even sometimes swat at unsuspecting "low hanging fruit," you know, stuff like cute doctors on House MD, angry mobs at Ikea, my least favorite Law and Order re-run thief Nicolas Cage, and Leslie, the mayoral candidate turned 'fridge magnet, complete with tiara included at no extra charge. (Oh stop it! I'm sure they all love the free publicity. Armadillo on a leash, anyone?)

I seldom talk about the technology behind the blog, because, well, it's just not that interesting to me. For a long time, I've easily uploaded images-images that I want to share with you, my precious snowflakes-into Flickr, that wonderful image hosting and sharing site, and I've used blogger.com's web services (a fancy name for websites that talk to each other) to upload images into my blog, put them with text, and bring you, my loyal readers, day after day, week after week, month after month, news from my little world. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's bad, everyday it's different, and that's the status quo we've all grown to love (or, at least, gotten used to, right?)

Well, not anymore.

No, I'm not going to quit on you. (Ha! You wouldn't be so lucky.) Recently, it seems the sites I use to bring you this site have gone under a sort of, well, what I like to call, "renovation." Flickr announced that now, in order to use Flickr, I have to switch over to using a Yahoo! id, since Flickr was purchased by Yahoo! shortly after I started using it. And, I guess, they had plans to do this all along ("You WILL assimilate. Into the Borg with you!") Blogger has been undergoing some renovations of it's own, having recently announced the end of Beta as we know it, which is quite scary in and of itself because, rules of common logic aside, the Beta version appeared to work, while the new, supposedly "released" version (some call it "gamma" others use the more applicable "broken" while still others just curse at it and don't call it anything I would repeat here, in mixed company) has been laughingly broken for some time. So broken, in fact, was blogger, that most from the blog-o-sphere refused to switch, fearing that their lives, their blogs, and, in some cases, their livelihoods, would vanish into the "vapor" of the "great blogger switch-a-roo" (which, yes, my snowflakes, really is as scary as it sounds.) There have been rumors, not too exaggerated, of people sacrificing small farm animals in useless attempts at getting their blogs back from the horror of "Blogger never-never land" (it's like Michael Jackson's bedroom only without all the llamas and Playstations.)

So, what does all this mean?

Well, for starters, I have to switch to using a Yahoo! ID to use Flickr now. Rumor has it that this doesn't break Flickr, it just makes it easier to log in (for those of you who use Flickr and can relate, there will be no more "Old Skool" login page, which I'm really going to miss, seeing as that was the only place in the known universe where the locals understood the proper spelling of the word "skool.") Ok, maybe no biggie, although I'm still guessing I might just be the one to break this (with my dumb luck and all.)

Next we have the great blogger transfer which, I know, is going to cause some mighty big troubles in blogger land or, at least, wreak some serious havoc on my own little blogging universe. This blog is quite old, you see, and it's grown quite large over time. There are some folks out there who, when attempting to switch from "old to new" style blogging (that would be from "beta" to "broken" in case you weren't paying attention) found themselves stuck in what could only be described, using highly technical computer science speak, as "the middle." (You can see now how the new "broken" Blogger earned it's name.)

The bottom line? Well, through no fault of my own, I might just very well vanish. *Poof* there I go, off into the great bit bucket in the sky.

It's not that I don't want to keep blogging (I do.) It's not that I don't have an audience who regularly reads my work and comments on it (I do.) It's not that I don't like you (I do. I really, really do. Each and every one of you. Well, except for that guy in Jersey who keeps threatening to send me TiVo user guides in bulk if I make one more crack about Nicolas Cage.) It's just that, well, the technology behind all this blogging is changing right out from under me. It's like somebody's gone and pulled the rug right out from under Carol's little feet. (And I don't like it one bit. Not one bit, I tell you.)

The only good news to come from this, apart from any future claims I might have of doing one bad-ass Houdini impression, would be the fact that we get to laugh at it until they actually force me to start switching my accounts. Yes, my snowflakes, in a strange twist of irony only I could unearth, it would appear that Blogger itself (well, maybe with the help of Flickr and Yahoo!) has generated more, funnier blogger fodder that I ever could have possibly imagined had I been left "Beta-less" in Bimini. How does that old song go, "it's the end of the world as we know it....and I feel fine..." (Yeah, right!)

Now I know how the wicked witch of the west felt when she started to melt.

Until next...maybe last...time...

Sunday, February 04, 2007

Strange


WhiteGator, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

The gator's white and the bushes are still green. What's going on here?

This is a oddly colored gator I happened upon in NOLA when I was there just before the storm hit.

I spoke with the zookeeper there and he said that this little fellow is not actually albino, he's just genetically defined to be white. I said, "oh, you mean, he's kind of like a blonde?" And he said, "exactly. That's exactly it. He's just light in color, nothing genetically different about him."

Ok, so, that makes me wonder if he would put white out on my computer monitor. (Just kidding, just kidding.)

Until next time...

Learning New Tricks


JumpingForATreat, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Well, the stoopid bowl is on and I don't feel like waiting for the next commercial to come on, so I thought I'd blog a bit. I don't know why they just don't play the commercials, instead of having all of this "football crap" in the middle of it all but, well, I guess, that's TV for you. I did enjoy Prince during the half-time show. He was great. But, then again, he's always great. He's Prince. Even after all this time, he's great but he makes me say, "huh? What was that?" You just have to love that in an artist.

I started my "dog project" this weekend too. Went to the Humane Society-ASPCA office to start taking pictures for the show. It's coming up sometime soon, so look for creative, um, "stories" about me going out "into the wild" to take pictures of animals in the coming weeks. I'm sure the Flickr folks are very confused, as I've just uploaded about 20 shots of dogs, none of which are mine. I never upload 20 shots of anything at a time. This is a new first for me but, as it's supposed to be, Flickr is not my final format. It's my "kitchen table," you know, a place where I can go assemble my work for presentation in other spots-places like here and upcoming shows. Sure, when I'm not using it for that, it converts over to a mainline view into my world but, hey I need it now so back to work (for me) it goes. Don't blame me if the Flickr-ati is disappointed. I can't help it if I need my stream for it's intended purpose.

Shooting at the ASPCA was really interesting. The dogs were really cool. This little guy even did tricks. He could sit, stay, jump, and perk himself up for treats. This is an action shot of him jumping up for a treat. Such a shame that he hasn't a "real" home, what, him being a trickster and all. Somebody really should go and snag him.

I'm still working on teaching Chase a new trick. It's call "sitting still." What's that they say? You can't win them all.

Until next time...

Thursday, February 01, 2007

Attention Alert Readers


RedThanPurpleAbstraction, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

In what has to be some of the strangest news I've read in a while (well, ok, maybe the 'fridge magnet kit that looked like Leslie and the dead birds all around Austin were high on the list too) the Associated Press is reporting today that, "ten blinking electronic devices planted at bridges and other spots in Boston threw a scare into the city Wednesday in what turned out to be a publicity campaign for a late-night cartoon."

The devices, it turns out, were part of a publicity campaign for the Cartoon Network show "Aqua Teen Hunger Force." According to the article, the show is about, "a talking milkshake, a box of fries, and a meatball." (Oh, I'll give you a meatball, alright!) Of course, homeland security, Boston PD and the bomb squad were all called in, although, presumably, not in that order.

What's even, ahem, "funnier," is that the devices have been in place for two to three weeks in 10 cities around the US: Boston, NY, LA, Chicago, Atlanta, Seattle, Portland, Ore., Austin, TX, San Fran, and Philly. So, yes, my snowflakes, you read that right. Somewhere, hiding in the bowels of Austin, are 10 blinky lights that, apparently, post no "real" danger. (Ha! Yeah right. How do we know that for certain? Maybe they induce blindness. I mean, only folks in Boston have actually seen the devices, right?)

What they *do* claim to pose, however, is even funnier. The cartoon, it seems, is actually for adults (who knew I wasn't too old to watch cartoons? Geesh! I never got them memo.) It includes, "two trouble-making, 1980's-graphic-like characters called 'mooninites,' named Ignignokt and Err-who were pictured on the suspicious devices. They are known for making the obscene hand gesture depicted on the devices."

Yes, you read that right. It seems our "friends" Ignignokt and Err, when not cleverly (so cleverly, in fact, we couldn't even find them!) disguised as bombs, are off busy flipping the bird to the unknowing residents of 10 major American cities. It's good to know that Homeland Security is busy tracking down the likes of a talking milkshake, a box of fries, and, well, at least one big "bird flipping" meatball, who, in turn, are too busy flipping us all collectively off, to stop and be recognized.

I feel safer already, don't you?

Until next talking milkshake with a "bird flipping" meatball and a box of fries for a sidekick...