Friday, April 29, 2005

CatAndBrokenFence


CatAndBrokenFence, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

This was one of the last shots of the day. Amazes me how you can go out for an entire day of shooting, go through the world seeing flowers, parades, midgets on tricycles, and the like, and end up sitting by a fence waiting for a cat to walk through so you get just the "best" shot. I guess photography is a lot like life, it's the little things that get you. That and, of course, it goes without saying, cats and dogs rule the universe, they just let us think that we run planet earth.

Chricel and Kathy were with me when I shot this. Chricel was mad at me because I kept getting off shots of the cat near the fence and she kept trying and trying and that damned cat wouldn't move when she was ready to shoot. It was hiding in some dark area, unphotographable to us all for quite a while. I was lucky and got off a few shots of it walking near the fence actually. Cats are such difficult creatures but they really fill in corners so nicely and they demonstrate such odd behavior sometimes. Always worth getting off a shot or two.

It could have been worse, it could have been a poppy. At least she didn't have to pluck it, right?

Until next time...

Thursday, April 28, 2005

BigWhitewPurples


BigWhitewPurples, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Step right up! Get your cookies right here!

The Baked Goods Cart saw fit to actually DELIVER me a cookie today. Yes, you read it right. I didn't even have to get up out of my fat, lazy chair. The pastries came to me. Just when I started working out again too.

So, today I was going to make up a list of stuff I need to buy. I started writing and my mind drew a blank. I hate it when that happens. I bet there's a sniglet for that as well, too bad I can't remember what it's called.

The good folks at lensbabies.com have started making extension tubes for the lensbabies. I hardly know where to begin with this one.

Normally, I avoid extension tubes at all costs. They make your lens soft and blurry. But, a lensbaby actually is a soft and blurry lens so wouldn't an extension tube actually make it better? I'm so confused.

Dan is so right. Why do we spend thousands of dollars on state of the art camera gear only to blur it all up anyway? Why not just start cheap?

How does that old doors song go? "People are strange when you're a stranger..."

Until next cookie...

PS This was from the secret garden and the cookies were peanut butter and chocolate chip.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

That's Just Crummy


YellowIris1, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

You may remember the Evil Baked Goods People, as I call them, they are the co-workers who put out a calorie laden cart full of brownies, cookies, cakes, and other assorted baked items on a semi-regular basis. I still have yet to determine what they really have against fried foods items, or anything grilled for that matter, but, somehow, I've learned to peacefully co-exist with the EBGP. I've also since learned that they, in fact, are fluent in various vices including (but not limitied to!) the bar that serves mixed drinks and the semi-regular poker (Texas Hold 'Em) tournaments that we have around here. I guess you could say they've all but cornered the market on the "bad" stuff that we collectively love to hate (or, perhaps, the good stuff we hate to love.)

So sometime last week, we get this email. It started out innocently enough, "Brownies on the 3rd floor." I have learned to ignore the EBGP because, well, if I didn't I would be 300 pounds, drunk, and broke. Some of my co-workers don't have as much, let's just call it "willpower" for lack of a better word. They get lured to the dark side very easily. Actually, I take that back, they don't just get lured to the dark side, they bolt as soon as the first opportunity presents itself. They are sitting in wait of that dark side to just pop out like a big, bad baked evil Jack in the Box, with flailing brownies, cookies, martinis, and poker chips in place of limbs. ("Right this way! Step up and get your vices right here!")

Now, I try to be nice and let some other folks know that there's brownies, cookies, or what have you on the cart. As you can imagine, they usually don't need my help. Two of the ladies who sit around the way from me bolt faster than greased lightening at the first sign of a chocolate chip. If there's even a hint of a brownie wafting through the hallways, they are on it like white on rice. I think they've mapped out a schedule and programatically calculated how long, in milliseconds, it takes for them to make the trip from their offices to the fresh cookies on the cart. Typically, when I tell them that I've heard about an Evil Baked Good, they're already enjoying one, or have just finished off the last of whatever it was that once occupied that evil little fattening cart of temptation.

So, the evil brownie email comes out, and I send "Brownies!" over to one of the bolting ladies. That's when the baking powder really hit the fan.

You see, the ladies bolted, as they typically do, to the cart upstairs (probably taking out several non-chocoaholics on the way) only to arrive on the third floor, just in time to happen upon a tray of crumbs. Yes, you read it right, there were no brownies left on the evil little tray upstairs. Not only that but, somebody left a few measly crumbs to serve as a reminder of what once was. Oh the horror! Oh the humanity! Somebody didn't even have the decency to wipe away traces of their trip down Chocolate Lane and left, a permanent "needer needer, I got the last one" reminder for all to see. To say the bolting ladies were pissed off would be putting it mildly. I heard moans of, "there was nothing but CRUMBS up there" all afternoon long. Luckily, no innocent bystanders were injured but I think we had a couple of close calls in the ensuing shake down for chocolate goods.

We've since come the conclusion that, just like witches in the east and west, there's now an Evil Baked Goods Cart upstairs (what teasers you are and stop stomping your feet on our heads already!) and a NICE Baked Goods Cart on the 2nd floor (also known as "the floor where our Baked Goods People actually BAKE. So TAKE THAT!")

Got chocolate?

Until next time...

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

BlueHouseRedPoppies


BlueHouseRedPoppies, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

As soon as I saw this house, I knew I wanted to photograph it. I'm so happy I got this one.

I had to take two shots of this-the first one didn't come out very well. I selected this one because it has just enough blur on the left, by the front porch, and also over on the right by the utility lines.

I tried very hard to get the poppies to "frame" the window. I think this is about as close as I could have gotten. I love the lace curtain and the hint of a light that's on inside the house. I also really like what the tree is doing in the upper left hand corner of the shot.

I think the perspective might be a bit odd, because the poppies were far from the house, but I wanted to get it with all the colors in place.

This is a great shot for me because, well, it can "fit" into several of my working series. It could be just "Georgetown general," or maybe "poppies and flowers" or even "blue" or "red."

This is not really a stand out image, it just fits well with other work. Kind of like a backup singer to a band, it helps fill in those high empty spots and brings the rest of the stuff up a notch (at least, I hope it does.)

Until next time...

Monday, April 25, 2005

BigPoppiesNo2


BigPoppiesNo2, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Happy Monday! Here's a poppy for you!

This weekend, we went to the Georgetown Red Poppy Festival. As you can see, I took some pictures. But, not before comitting what we insiders like to call "poppy-side."

It started out innocently enough. I SO just wanted to get one damn shot of one damned red poppy so I could get it out of the way, behind me, and move onto other more "valid" work (like annoying the cats in the neighborhood, tresspassing, and such.)

We tried to find a map to the poppies. They didn't have one (like last year) so we had to settle for what could best be described as "poor directions." We took off and headed for what we thought were poppies and got a little lost.

Then we happend upon a nice house with some poppies. I tried to take a shot but this nice older man, walking with the help of a cane, came over to talk to me. He started giving me the history of the poppies and waving his cane over some of the better ones, knocking off many petals in the process.

Kathy and Chricel "saved" me by walking away. (They probably saved many a poppy in the process too.) Thanks!

Then the wind kicked in, the sun came up, the cats came out. It was one damned thing after another. I finally composed a shot and just couldn't take it. Everytime I tried to "snap" my shutter something else came along. It was like destiny and the gods were aligning against me.

I got so frustrated that I ended up plucking a poppy. I was like, "that's it! I've had it. I'm picking you." I pulled one and stuck it into a shallow, wind shielded sun-free location but still did not get off a good shot because then, well, the guilt set in and I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

It worked out in the end though, as I managed to get a few ok shots of the poppies over the course of the day.

Shooting flowers can be so frustrating. Next time, I'm going to try to do my best to avoid poppy-side and just enjoy the day.

Until next time...

Friday, April 22, 2005

LostSock


LostSock, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

It's from the washateria, baby!

Oh yeah! Washateria all the way.

It's better than jousting. It's better than a makeshift homage to the Pope. It's your lost sock. I found it right here.

This one was taken inside the washateria in Liberty Hill, TX. What a strange picture. What a strange place. What a strange day.

In even stranger news, I happened across this gem on CNN today: "Emails hurt IQ more than pot"

In case you can't follow the link, the good folks at CNN have decided it best to inform us that reading email lowers our collective IQ's more than smoking pot. Yes, it's true. Click that little "You have new mail" icon on your deskdrop and dumb yourself down by the equivalent of 10 IQ points which, as the CNN folks duly point out, is more than the equivalent of 2 joints.

I don't even have to touch that one to make it funny. It's already there.

Does instant messanger count as like Pink Floyd or what?

Until next time...

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Bad Elephants and Alters


AlterNo4, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Here's one of the "normal" alter shots. I guess it's really not as bad as I made it out to be.

Last night, I happened upon a TV program I don't usually get to see. The Amazing Race was on and I saw part of it while I was flipping around the channels. (TiVo has me too frightened to watch one program for more than 5 minutes at a time. I keep sitting on the couch thinking, "ok, there's got to be a murder in here somewhere..." and then, flip, onto the next show. It's a cruel vicious never ending cycle.)

So, the show is about these teams of two who have to complete tasks while traversing the globe as part of some kind of race (I'm smart enough to figure this one out without a teleprompter.) The current batch of folks were running around somewhere in India. One of the tasks they had to perform was to push a large wooden elephant around a town, I guess with one of them riding atop the woodie, while the other helped gather locals in an attempt at pushing faster than the next guys.

I got to see lots of footage of these folks navigating large wooden elephants through traffic in some far away locale, avoiding buses, bouncing off rickshas and the like. It was pretty funny.

One of the couples, an older couple, poised the lady on top of the elephant and she kept saying, over and over again, "We have a BAD ELEPHANT." I don't know why, but this was really making me crack up. As she was saying this, wooden elephant parts were falling off, leaving behind a trail of BAD ELEPHANT entrails the likes of which I have never before seen.

This got me to thinking. How much in life could we get away with if we blamed it all on BAD ELEPHANTS?

"Sorry I wrecked your car. I had a BAD ELEPHANT."

"Sorry I slept with your husband, I had a BAD ELEPHANT."

It's a giant excuse du jour with an entire untapped wealth of potential.

I'm sorry I didn't write a REAL journal entry today, you see, I stepped in some mighty BAD ELEPHANT wooden entrails that were just all nasty and then...

Until next time...

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

CandleAlter


CandleAlter, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

This is from St. Mary's church.

I like it because I took a lot of shots of the alter that day. I have about 5 others that are "straight on" type of compositions. This one is more of a risk. It's different, that's for sure. That's exactly what I like about it.

You could argue that this is a "bad" picture. It's compositionally "bad" because the candle and the alter are competing shapes. But I would disagree.

I think this image is about the competing shapes. It's very essence focuses on how the shape of the alter is reflected in the columns and the candle. Through competing forms, we can acheive balance.

All that plus I just like it. Is it wrong to just like something, just because? I think that makes me child-like and, heck, everybody knows, kids make the best damned artists going. They are the only people who can make cool stuff out of Play-Dough anyway.

How does that annoying Sheryl Crow song go, "if it makes you happy, it can't be that bad..." Something like that.

Until next time...

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

CementSink


CementSink, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Ok, so maybe it's not really a sink. If anybody knows what this really is, please do let me know. I'm curious.

The light on it looks sort of "dramatic" and almost "Holy."

Speaking of all things Holy, we appear to have a new Pope today. Yes, it's true, the conclave blew up it's white smoke, the bells at the Vatican wrang out, and the crowd cheered. Pope Benedict the 16th is now "in session" or whatever it is that Pope's get into these days.

He wouldn't be so happy about the gig if he knew what happened to the first 15 right? (just kidding, just kidding.)

I'm happy we have a new Pope. But, I did wonder, what happened after John Paul II passed away and before this entire conclave thing started up? I mean, who took over all of his Popely duties? The Pope must have duties right? I mean, he is the Pope and all.

It would kinda suck to be the "fill in/substitute" Pope and "serve" only until that conclave voted, wouldn't it?

But, I guess it'd be cool to be able to walk around and say, "I was Pope for a day!"

Until next time...

Monday, April 18, 2005

CryingPrayer


CryingPrayer, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

This one is from the St. Mary's Church shoot a few weeks ago. It was taken in the garden.

I've noticed a funny thing about long photo shoots. As the day progresses, time moves on, and you get more tired, you actually start to shoot better. At least, it seems like, I do. I forgo the usual blase shots and go for interesting stuff. At least, it has to be interesting enough to make me want to get up off my lazy tush and take it, if I start to get that tired. I think that, if you were to tally the results, I do far better when I'm tired then when I'm wide away and perky. Perky is good for a lot of things but, somehow, not photography.

Until next time...

Friday, April 15, 2005

Rose533


Rose533, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

This rose is for Toby.

On Wednesday, little Toby was not feeling well. Yesterday, my folks took him to the vet and the news was not good, he had leukemia and was bleeding to death. They had to put him down yesterday around noontime.

We had him only 6 months. He was cute as a button. He loved to walk and he had a favorite chair in the house, which now seems quite empty.

He loved it when you pet him under his chin. If you didn't pet under his chin, he would make what I used to call his "fish face," he'd lift his little head up and open and close his mouth, almost like he was barking into thin air without making a sound. It was his way of saying, "somebody please pet my chin!"

Sometimes, when he sat on the floor, he used to stick his right leg out- only his right leg, never his left. For this, I called him "lefty."

He had a way of pushing out of the door or house. He always had to be first, and push ahead of Charlie. If he didn't get out first, and Charlie was ahead of him, he would cry. For this, my folks used to call him, "Toby the Terrorist."

Well all miss Toby. He had such cute little ways about him and he was such a good dog.

Until next time...

Thursday, April 14, 2005

OldChairInFront


OldChairInFront, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Today's feature is another one from "stinky alley" (least you think I'm getting all soft on you, what, with all the roses and all.)

I so wanted to move the bucket. I should have. Kathy was trying to get me to, but I didn't. Oh well, maybe next time.

I do like the funky old chair though.

Until next time...

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Rose563


Rose563, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Here's another rose for you.

Yesterday was quite the day. It was almost "triple blog worthy" (and, yes, you can quote me on that.)

In the morning, I went to the break room for coffee and ran into the "break room guy" (fellow who services our $10,000 latte machines. You know the ones...they look just like the ones they have in Starbucks because, well, they ARE just the ones they have at Starbucks.) He told me that, in the past three years, the folks at Motive have gone through 70,000 shots of cafe.

70,000 shots. Now, that's a lot of coffee. I sat down and actually did some math, and this is what I came up with.

Assuming there are about 200 working days a year (and we only drink coffee here when we work) and there are 300 people at motive, that's 116 shots per day. We have, I think, three of these machines (one on each floor) so that's 348 cups of coffee per day. Assuming some folks don't drink the stuff at all (although, apparently, not many) that's more than 1 cup a day per person.

Harumph! Take that you decaf swilling wimps! (This, of course, doesn't begin to count all the sodas we go through. Man, this is one highly caffeinated place.)

So, it's pretty safe to say, "Welcome to Motive. WE'RE WIRED"

In maybe not so important but still blog worthy news, my mother found a parrot in the yard yesterday. It landed (thump!) in her tree. Yes, that kind of a parrot. No, it didn't talk. In typical "food pimp" fashion, she gave it water and feed it cheerios. (Note to self: if you ever happen across a wild parrot, they appear to really take a liking to cheerios.)

They eventually called animal control who came with butterfly nets (you know the ones, the ones that they use to drag away crazy people too? Yeah, those nets.) They captured "Mr. Green" and took him to a vet because, I'm not making this up, his beak was too long.

So, if you're a long-beaked green big bird, don't go flying around Cedar Park, TX. Unless, of course, you want to be dragged away by grown men carrying butterfly nets. Oh the humanity!

To round out the set I ended the day yesterday by getting new speakers to go with my new home theater setup. I finally got me some b&w speakers. I've always liked them best and now I'm a proud owner. Maybe I listen to some Jimmy Buffet, in honor of the green winged friend and former occupant of the yard.

Phew! I'm tired now. I could sure use a cup of coffee. (I guess this makes 70,001)

Until next time...

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

PurpleDoor


PurpleDoor, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Today's a good day for color saturation. This one's heavy on that so...enjoy!

I purchased a new TV over the weekend. It's a 30 inch LCD TV which I will use in my bedroom. It will replace the 23 inch Sony that's currently in there.

The 23 inch Sony will become my digital darkroom TV. It will all shake down sometime on Friday, when Time Warner's supposed to magically appear and work their magic.

Steve says he thinks it'll be mid-June before I fix everything they leave in their wake. If they break anything, I'm going to sic my murdering TiVo on them.

Fetch! Kill! Good DVD player! Now back to your console and make it quick. There might be a murder on HBO or something.

Until next time...

Monday, April 11, 2005

Rose568


Rose568, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

"This is my dog. He has three legs, one ear, and no tail. We call him lucky. Here lucky, lucky, lucky...."

I went out shooting at the Texas Capitol this weekend. At first, I wasn't very inspired. I didn't want to get the obligatory shot, you know the one, from inside the rotunda, looking up. I don't know why, maybe my neck was stiff or something. I lugged the tripod and camera gear all the way down Congress Ave., and then just didn't feel like shooting that silly cliched Capitol building like everybody else.

The light was really good outside, as it was almost starting to rain a bit. Somebody in my photo group mentioned, "I was out in the rose garden..."

Kathy and I were like, "Rose garden?" I didn't even know that the Capitol had a rose garden. So, it was off to the flowers for us.

I starting shooting then. As Kathy said, "if it's flowers and Carol's shooting it, it's gotta be good." This is so true, as I usually just walk on by the usual "bluebonnets in the field" type of shots. But not this time, I had rose thorns sticking me, I was that close. (Yup, I actually climbed into this crop of flowers, thorns and all. And, at one point, we had to stick our camera gear under our clothing, since it started to rain a bit more than we thought the digital gear could handle.)

And, truth be told we got really lucky. These were spectacular roses, the light was good, and everything just clicked. Maybe only a week later, or one spring storm later, we would have gotten nothing but the thorns.

I tried to do some Georgia O'Keefe inspired flowers, this is my attmept at trying to make the roses look very feminine and soft. I'm having trouble now because I keep wanting to punch up the color in photoshop and there really is such a thing as "too saturated" (trust me on this one.)

Funny thing, we had an afternoon shoot at a church downtown. One of the fellows there, David, said to me, "We thought we were going to have to pry you guys out of that rose garden."

Yup. Welcome to springtime flower power. Crowbar optional.

Until next time...

Friday, April 08, 2005

Tents


Tents, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

I must be crazy. Right after I posted how I like to do scary stuff, I've been in a "soft, mellow" mood and put up two harmless shots. What's next? The visual equivalent of ABBA music?

My horoscope is really scary today:

"She who dies with the most toys, wins" may well be your philosophy of life, CAROL. And today you certainly move ahead in the race, as you add yet another technological wonder to your home. What is it this time? A scanner, a digital camera or a DVD player? Or all of the above. It's a small indulgence for all the hard work you do. If these things really give you such pleasure, then you deserve to have them!"


All of the above? Crap, I don't have enough extension cords. It's off to Fry's for me...

But wait, isn't that where I might just run into the new gadgets? Hmmm.

Speaking of new gadgets, I have come up with another potential ipod engraving: "This ain't magic, stick that quarter back in your ear."

I kind of like it, except that I would prefer the longer version, "This ain't no magic trick..." but the ipod folks have this thing about 27 characters.

I just got a call from Ted and I'm literally talking on the phone as I type. He's telling me some wild tale of FBI agents and a wanted man out near his office by the lake. Crazy Ted and the crazy wanted man by the lake. Too bad we can't limit nut jobs to 27 characters apiece.

But, then again, that would cut me and my ipod right out of the picture.

Until next time...

Thursday, April 07, 2005

PaintedPipes


PaintedPipes, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Here's an almost monochromatic shot of some cool looking pipes for you.

I find these pipes rather odd. I was strangly drawn to them, and got off many shots of them and I don't really know why.

I do like the shots I got. They sort of remind me of Japanese brush paintings. They have a bit of an Asian feel to them, at least that's how I think of them.

Maybe there's really a bunny rabbit in the moss? Who knows?

Either way, it's a little less scary and a bit higher on the "calm, soothing, and relaxing" scale, don't you think?

Until next time...

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

FaysGiftShop


FaysGiftShop, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Featuring Fay's Gift Shop, where you can get anything you want except, of course, Fay. Shop at your own risk. Ogres not included.

This is from "stinky alley." All I'm going to say about that is, "told ya it was a good place. Told ya, told ya, told ya." Yes, it's true, the stinky alley fun's only beginning.

Ok, for the ipod engravings, I've narrowed down the field to the following:

"It's like rearranging deck chairs on the titanic"
"Einstein, James Bond, and Batman all rolled into one"
"Pod Pod Piddle, Click Me in the Middle"
"You can never get silence anywhere nowadays"
"In wisdom gathered over time I have found..."
"I'm so screwed and nobody left $20 at my bedside"

You must pick from the list. You must, or I shall hunt you down, kill you, and then banish your remains from Carol's Little World. Well, ok, maybe I won't go that far. (Please, I'm asking nicely, in a sort-of dictator-y kind of way.)

And finally, in Evil Baked Good news, I ran into one of the bakers in the hallway the other day. It was his birthday so I wished him a happy birthday.

He said, "It was my birthday yesterday. Does that make me Evil?"

Gosh, I just hate it when your Evil nemesis is armed with chocolate, read up on your website, and knows how to spell. (That and they seem to have cornered the market on ALL the vices around here, not just the "gooey chocolately baked goodness" variety. Liquor, gambling, sullen teenagers, anyone?)

Until next time...

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

BikerOgreKid


BikerOgerKid, originally uploaded by carolWorldLeader.

Ok, to make the ipod engraving vote easier, I'm going to narrow down the selections a bit. I think I'll try to get it down to 3 or 4 and then re-post the finalists. Everybody seems to be voting for different ones. Either that or, maybe, just maybe, I'll pick my own freaking engraving. (Nah, I'd never be able to make up my mind.)

This picture infuriates me. Why, you ask? Well, it has to do with the fact that, just BEFORE I took this (or, actually, maybe it was just AFTER, I don't actually recall) I ALMOST got a close up shot of the little kid walking up to the Ogre handing him a flower. It WOULD have been a magical shot had my camera not EATEN it out from under me. Damn camera, damn digital camera and it's super long recycle time. Grrrrr. It made me so mad. It made me so mad I ALMOST didn't grab this one, which I actually kind of like. But the other one, damn, that would have been one Hell of a shot.

This one has the biker in it. I think I'm having a hard time evaluating this one, becuase I keep thinking about the other one. I took it in my head, it just didn't come out in the camera. I keep thinking that it would have been such a magical shot and I need to just get over it and learn to like what I have.

How does that old song go, "if you can't be with the one you love, honey, love the one you're with..." Something like that.

All that and the one I ended up getting has a biker dude in it too. I should learn to just love my biker, ogre, and kid and just get over it, but I can't and so I'm still mad. But, hey, at least I'm not a mad ogre, right?

I'd hate to be an ogre actually. What's that Kermit once said, "it's not easy being green..." And, I suppose, mad all the time.

Until next time...

Monday, April 04, 2005

Chicago Style Voting-Early, often, and again



Please remember to vote for your favorite ipod engraving. Your choices are:

"Beware: Loitering Music"
"It's like rearranging deck chairs on the titanic"
"If I shake it, does the music erase?"
"No sky No Earth, but sill music sounds"
"There are times when ingenuity is not enough"
"Einstein, James Bond, and Batman all rolled into one"
"Progress over Protocol"
"Remember, no matter where you go, there you are"
"Look Listen Embrace"
"Pod Pod Piddle, Click Me in the Middle"
"You can never get silence anywhere nowadays"
"I'm your way of running away without leaving home"
"I've grown small trying to be great"
"Lack of charisma can be fatal"
"Cures are hard to come by"
"Carol's Other White imac"
"In wisdom gathered over time I have found..."
"My favorite thing is to go where I've never been"
"Just advertising departments with leather pants"
"Stare. Pry. Listen. Eavesdrop"
"I see no reason for recording the obvious"
"All this and I'm only a torso"
"I'm so screwed and nobody left $20 at my bedside"

Please either leave your comments at this website with your selection or email me if you please with your vote.

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For starters, I'd like to send out a big, "Hello!" to some of my new readership (is that even a word? Geesh!) in So. Cal. Welcome all Bad Ass Tribers and, don't worry your sunny heads off, I've no intention of quitting anytime soon (well, as long as blogger stops eating my postings, that is.) If I happen across that T-shirt online anywhere in my travels, I'll be certain to post a link back for y'all. (Kind of like "save the whales! Collect the whole set!" only with attitude ladden T-shirts.)

In other news, one of the technical writers I work with, John, who also happens to be our Friday afternoon bar keep, poker teacher, and Evil Baked Goods card carrying member, has gone on vacation this week. Now, normally, this would not be cause for concern (we can all just do shots until he gets back and, Lord knows, the baking continues!) but his leaving has left it's own little mark on our collective missing brain cells.

You know those (usually very annoying) vacation answering machine email programs they have? The ones that usually say stuff like,
"FRED is away until...DATE...if you have any urgent need, please contact SALLY (or some other poor unsuspecting SAP who doesn't know what hit them.) FRED will be back from trout fishing on the 39th. See you then!"


Or, some such thing. They usually drive me bonkers (not that it's really a long way off, mind you.)

I call these annoying because, well, they serve to remind me that I'm stuck in the office, probably helping to do Fred's job too, while he's away sunbathing in the Alaskan winter fog, dodging jumping trout, playing with rare long-horned rhinos, or some such thing. (Come to think of it, maybe Fred is off with Ted, stocking vending machine or finding lost socks in laundromats across the globe. But, that's a topic for another day. And I have pictures to prove that I found your sock in that laundromat, mind you. Just wait, you'll see.)

Well, this time, the email I got back from our technical writer/Evil Baker/bartender/poker teaching friend made me laugh so hard, I do believe I've ruptured what was left of my spleen (those of you astute readers will remember that I ruptured the first part of it while laughing at the top 500 list of ipod engravings.) Ok, well, maybe the spleen's still intact but it made me chuckle a bit...

I am out of the office until April 12th. If you need immediate assistance, please contact the following people:

Need technical documents: Cathy
Need liquor: Thomas
Need to jam: Heather
Need to gamble: Stephen
Need advice on coping with sullen teenagers: Margaret


Now, something tells me that Cathy's going to have a nice, quiet week but, I suspect (I'm really going out on a limb here) that Thomas and Stephen are going to have one hopping time of it while John's on vacation. I hope you fellows are ready for the onslaught of drinking poker-playing parents of sullen teenages on Friday afternoon. (Incoming! Like fer sure.)

Just call it a hunch.

Until next time...