Thursday, September 09, 2004

The Left One Rides the Train

I'm listening to the radio, which is playing a new song by REM. There's a line in this song, "it's easier to leave then to be left behind..."

Near where I work, actually physically near my office, is a set of train tracks. Several times a day, the train goes by. Sometimes, when work is tough, or my attitude sours, I fantasize about that train. I used to joke with one of my co-workers, telling him how I would just leave one day. I'd jump on the train, like a hobo, climb aboard the rails, in search of better circumstances, flipping the bird (with both hands) back at my office.

I think the time is coming when my job will go away. Work here has pretty much dried to a slow trickle, and it feels as if our days are collectively numbered. I fully expect to be gone by the end of the month, and feel completely useless and tired.

Lately, I've been fantasizing about the train a lot. About how I'd ride the rails, where I might end up, how I'd love to flip the proverbial bird to all those I'd leave behind. Somehow, I never thought I'd be the one left behind but, I suppose, sometimes you leave and sometimes you get left behind. Like the song says, it is easier to leave. It would be easy to just walk out, flipping everybody off in my path, and move onto greener pastures. You never want to be the one left to close the lights, shut the door, and wonder where everybody went but, in this case, it's the right thing to do. Leaving would be easy, but getting left behind, in this case, is what I really need to do.

Until next time...

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