Wednesday, February 06, 2002


Spring Fever in the Dead of Winter

My friend Ken has officially chastisted me for not blogging in several days, so I am back with a big, bag blog. First, he wanted me to blog about Ted. Now he just wants me to blog about something so he can read it. Well, Ken, here it is.

It's cold today in Austin. Not the kind of cold that it has been. I am beginning to feel a renewed interest in some of the things I had stopped doing. Like photography. For some reason, my photography always seems to echo my personal life. When I was shooting mostly black and white and running my own darkroom, I was wearing all black and feeling especially connected to the art world. When I run color, I feel more upbeat and have a strong desire to travel. When I do portraits, it inspires my business sense and so on. It's an interesting idea that, until recently, wasn't helping me much because I wasn't doing much photography. I have decided that I need to start making time for myself and take time to do some of the things that I enjoy, such as taking pictures. I can't help but fight the feeling that it's almost spring and the economy is just about to re-bound. I suppose I have come down with an early case of spring fever but, as I sit and lookout over the cold, dank, dark Austin skyline, I have this little thought in the back of my mind. Little like the bud of a first crocus.

Soon the flowering bulbs will bloom.
The winds of spring have cast upon my winter cruft
The skies and the seas are no longer barren
with the waves of my discontent

Not exactly poetry but it sums up how I feel at the moment. Not exactly tired of winter but, looking at it with a critical eye, a knowing glance that soon it will be gone and the world will become a happier, prettier place. And I will enjoy the Texas bluebonnets all that much more. When you want something so badly that all you taste is desire, does it make the hunger that much more satisfied when the bread is washed down with a fine wine? Or is there really hunger in the chase?

So you see, Ken, Ted is not upon my thoughts, for my yearning is for something all that much more satisfying. I crave something deeper, something of substance. Something that looks more like.....well....spring. Of course, people do fall in love in spring, but that's mostly in Paris. Where love is in the air as much as spring fever. But, you never do know and you never can tell. Until it's too late. The crocus, (and possibly Ted, I suppose,) sneaks up on you and pounces, hitting you in the most tender place. Your heartstrings. Good luck trying to fend that off.

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in "Carol's Little World" signing off.






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