Thursday, January 31, 2002

That's not me, that's my alias

My friend Ken has asked me to blog about his friend Ted. Ted's real name is Tedmond but we call him Tedemundo because it sounds funny. I don't know why. Ted is not a very funny guy. Ted used to work for Ci2i which, not coincidentally, is the same place where Ken and I worked. It was a good little company that also went by the name of or the Creative Arts Directory. I don't know why, in this new age of technology, everybody has to have lots of names, but I guess that's the way it is. Ken wants Ted to create a blogger and so he has asked me to needle Ted until he does so. Ted, if you are reading this, and you are not under an assumed name, create a damn blogger already so Ken can get off your back about it. It's much easier to just try to comply.

Speaking of Ci2i, I have not yet received my W-2 from them. Once I do, I can tackle the next great challenge in life: taxes. Ugh. I don't even want to think about it. Maybe I could file under an assumed name? I bet the IRS would hunt me down and kill me. It's what they do. It's like a sport for them. And they are very, very good at it.

Speaking of names, I have always disliked mine. Don't get me wrong, I think Carol is a great name. It's my last name I dislike. No offense to my father at all, but I just have always disliked it. It's long and hard to spell and it makes people think I am Italian (which I am in part, but this is a subject for another blog.) I wish I lived back in the days when you got to pick your last name based on what you did. Wait, that would make me either "programmer" or "photographer." Come to think of it, my last name isn't all that bad. It's better than Tedemundo, I suppose.

Now, when I sign off with my usual signature, will you take my word for it that it really is little ole' me? I hope so.

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in "Carol's Little World" signing off.

Wednesday, January 30, 2002

Tenderloin and Tea

It's one o'clock and I've had only one cup of tea. One of the ladies I work with was kind enough to point out that she went to Sam's to get supplies and ended up coming back with some Earl Grey. Yipes! I am quickly losing my reputation as a coffee drinker. What can I say? Since I've come down with an ulcer, I've switched back to tea. It's a civilized drink, really it is. It doesn't smell as good as coffee, but it's got a pleasant aroma and it doesn't rot out my stomache. Plus it keeps my hands warm. You will always be happy in life, so long as your hands and feet are warm. This I remember from my days in Potsdam.

I have decided that I will go to the doctor soon about my ulcer. They probably will give me some horrible tests, which I will have to pay for, but they may be able to cure it. Or at least give me some meds so it isn't so bad. I've been putting off going because I do not care for my Doctor and wanted to find a new one. Now that I have, well, there's no excuse. Exercise seems to be helping a bit, but it's not enough. My ulcer has annoyed me to the point that now I want to get rid of it.

Speaking of exercise, I'm going to order the Tao Bo ab's and glut's video. It'll probably kill me. What's that they say, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." Yeah right. I'll try to remember that when I'm stuck on the floor with tears coming down my face. Or even worse, laughing my head off because my butt's so big I can't reach some imaginary point in the air I'm supposed to kick. Oh joy. I can hardly wait for the UPS man to deliver this package of fun.

My friend Ken has not updated his blog since Monday. HEY KEN, QUIT YOUR SLACKING. There, I said it. Course he could have rubbed my nose in the fact that I went an entire day without blogging and usually miss the weekends, but there is some honor among tenderloiners, I suppose. Well, if you are reading this, Ken, you now have my permission to make fun of me on the days I do not blog. There may not be honor between thieves but there certainly has to be something between slackers. Otherwise they would bang their heads together. Wait, Ken's a headbanger. Oh, nevermind. It's time to get more tea.

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in "Carol's Little World" signing off.

Tuesday, January 29, 2002

Nesting Comfortably from my perch

I have decided that I really enjoy tea. Today I am not feeling quite myself (a bit under the weather or so it seems) so I have been clinging to my cup of tea, much the same way a young child clings to his mother's skirt-tail. I believe I have had several cups already and am currently yearning for yet another. Bless Earl Grey and all the tea he has brought to my arms.

In other news, it seems my friend Ken has found an apartment and will be moving soon. Gosh, I hope I never have to move again. It was such a pain the last time. It took me the better part of one month. Possibly because I am just lazy but, more probably, because I moved out to Cedar Park (from Austin) and it's quite a drive. I think part of the deal this time is that, I like my house so much, I don't want to move again. I've come down with a horrible case of "nesting instinct" as I've been told it's called. Enough to make me go out and buy furniture and put pictures up and, well, order from the likes of Ikea. And lamps. I've come down with this strange fondness for lamps which do not give off a lot of light. It's a horrible infinite loop really. I buy a lamp, it doesn't throw enough light, so I buy another. And so on. I've quite a collection but still cannot read at night. Go figure.

HE has a house. Not really a house, moreso a home. A loft in the city actually. SHE lives with a roommate in West Campus but doesn't pay rent. Sure, always the moocher. I guess if you have large breasts you never have to pay rent. Or buy furniture. Must be nice. Although I would not exactly want to trade places. I never want to sleep on a futon or have to save quarters for laundry again. I did enough of that in Potsdam.

I much prefer HIS existance. Having a nice "homebase." Nice enough that's it's presentable but not so nice that you cannot pack up and leave at any given time and jaunt off to some wild destination. That's the way to live. I suppose I'm a bit hung up on the romantic notion of the nomad and how easily lead astray they can become. I had visions of myself wandering around taking photographs of the Serengeti or some exotic place off in Morocco. Perhaps the great wall of China on Friday? While it's still technically feasable for such events to occur, I believe they are highly unlikely at this point. Maybe in a few years. After I've paid for all the furniture. And, um, yeah, the lamps.

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in "Carol's Little World" signing off.

Monday, January 28, 2002

Just Because

X Files last night was an interesting watch (loved the deal with the reincarnation) and it seems Dave Ducovney is man enough to come back for the season finale. Hmm. Wonder if Mulder will ever find his sister or not. I guess we'll find out in May when it's all over and maybe they'll even have a fat lady singing. I am mystified by the Asian themes that run as sub-plots to the recent X Files but this is part of the fun of it all, I suppose.

Speaking of Asian themed items, I am utterly bewildered by the recent events at my house. Recently, I had invited some photographer friends over to compare work. While most of them knew me well enough for a logical guess, there was one or two whom I had never met. Upon coming to my house in the evening several folks had commented that they could not easily find my house, because of a lack of street numbers easily visible.

Until they saw the Tara statue above the door they could not tell which house was mine.

Hmm. How fascinating. Either I live in suburbia to the point of being the only non-lemming within a 20 mile radius, or I have become such the artist that even I have lost track of how "left of center" my existence has evolved. Either way, I win. How cool. Worse case, I'm not a lemming and best case, well I can consider myself an artists "just because."

Thank you, Tara.

It's a dreary day today in Austin but it doesn't really matter because it's Monday. I think there should be some kind of a law that says all Mondays have to either be rainy or dreary. I found out this weekend that my annoying neighbor may have moved away, which is good news. That and I actually got some work done around the house this weekend. I got my printer stand put together (yippie) and my little step stool. Now comes the fun part. I'm going to paint my step stool some funky ass color. Probably red. Bright red and stencil some bad looking Chinese characters on it. Just because I can. There's something cool about being an artist. You don't make much money and you don't get to enjoy you lot in life much (other people tend to think you are stupid) but you get to do stuff just because you are an artist. And that's how artists do stuff ("just because.") I love it. It confuses the hell out of the programmers I work with but there's also something fun inherent in the ability to baffle other people at will. It's almost a gift. So, sometime this week I will go to the paint store and get some bright funky paint and, maybe as early as this weekend, I will enjoy adding some entropy in the world. Hey, somebody somewhere in China is organized, right? I must make ammends.

I know I promised I would not blog about my past blogs but, I must have been bitter upon my recent meeting with "Mike." While he's not "God's gift to this green earth" he's not Satan personified either. What was I possibly thinking? I find it intriquing that I was so fascinated with Mike and his reaction to my blog. Perhaps I spend too much time thinking about the reactions of other people? How "un-artistic" of me. I'll have to stop doing that. That, and color my hair some crazy aubergine-like color.

"Just because."

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in "Carol's Little World" signing off.

Thursday, January 24, 2002

MIKE'S Little World

I find it interesting that folks are obsessed with the real HIM. What's interesting about it is the different reactions I am receiving from the blogger. Some folks read it and don't tell me. Perhaps they do not want to admit it or maybe they just don't care. Then some other folks grill me outright ("who is HE," "you must tell me," etc.) while some other folks assume they know who HE is ("Well, I know the HE is....") Today I had a most interesting encounter with a fellow I shall call "Mike" (name changed to protect the innocent, er rather, in this case, "very guilty")

So Mike reads the blog and just naturally assumes the HE in the read is HIM. Yes, Mike assumes this entire blog is written about MIKE. Granted Mike is one of those egotistical "programmer types" that I usually end up working with but this was just so blatent and so, well, GROSS. MIKE is nothing like HIM. If Mike and HE were in the same room, it would be like the end of the universe because matter and anti-matter would actually collide. Or something.

If you don't believe me, let's compare them. Mike has a big ego and gets upset when he is not the center of attention. He is competitive to the point of me calling him "cut-throat" to his face and him not objecting. HE is not like that at all. Humble and softspoken are words I frequently use to describe HIM. The word "humility" comes to mind.

Enough about that. Next up we have the photography aspect of it. HE is an excellent photographer, with his own darkroom and all, but he likes to think of himself as "learning" ("HE's always learning" is what HE'll always say). Mike bought a new camera and thinks he's Ansel Adams ("Mike" if you are reading this, you are not, and probably never will become a good photographer.) Mike does not realize that art comes from the soul and that, to be a great artist, you have to push ego aside. Course, I dunno how he'd move something that big without his BIG, gas guzzeling truck. Which brings me to my next point. Mike drives a big, dumb truck and grew up in Texas. Never left the state until he turned 25 or some such thing. HE is from California and has travelled around the globe. Been to every country and is as polite in Tibet as he is in Topeka. So much for sophistication and, well, manners, eh, Mike?

Mike speaks a little Spanish (so poorly, you'd hardly recognize it) and things that he is a "cunning linguist" (oh, there's a rotten joke Mike would just LOVE). HE says he doesn't speak any foreign languages all that well, Spanish or any other, but I've heard him and HE's passable. HE'd get a beer in San Miguel or some such place without getting laughed at. Plus HE speaks Pali and HE tried to study Mandarin. Mike probably thinks Mandarin is a type of orange (if he even could recognize a fruit, or refer to one without talking about a, ahem, "homo" as he calls them.)

Next up we have looks. Mike is, well, a geek. Sometimes he tries to dress up but he still looks like a geek. Has goofy hair that he never combs. But, that doesn't matter because you can't really see past his ego. HE has soft, curly sandy hair that frames his face. And a strong chin. Speaking of chins, not only does Mike have a few extra, but he likes to get drunk and beat people up (punch them in the chin, actually.) HE drinks, sometimes to the point of excess, but the difference is like, well, imagine empty Bud light cans littering the yard. Ok, stop. Now imagine the most perfectly blended margarita with just the right amount of salt and the proper company with which to enjoy in some Mexican colonial city. See the difference? Mike wouldn't. He'd just get drunk and pass wind in public because, well, that's how he is.

Mike says he likes to garden but doesn't actually grow anything. HE has a small city garden and says he tries to grow all his own veggies. Mike claims that he is a good cook but that, "he just doesn't like to cook." Yeah right, stand back, don't mind the smoke in the oven. It goes with the mirrors, right, Mike? HE studied culinary arts in France for a spell but says, "Well, I'm not the best cook in town but I do up a mean torte." I don't even think Mike knows what a torte is. Oh, and I have another favorite. HE likes to play chess in open air cafes. Real chess, with real pieces, preferrably a unique or artistic chess set (maybe one he painted himself or perhaps and old civil war variety.) HE twirls the pieces in his hands gently as he ponders his next moves. Mike played chess on yahoo a few times, met a stripper and stopped playing chess because he wanted to, ahem, "get laid." Way to go, Mike. I guess you found a different type of twirl.

So, Mike, if you are brazen enough to read this: you are not HIM. You never will be. Just because you bought a camera doesn't mean you can take great pictures. Just because you write code for a living doesn't mean you are intelligent, sophisticated, charming, witty, and, oh yeah, you are NOT God's gift to this green earth. Everybody knows you cannot cook, you suck at chess, you don't have a creative bone in your body, and you drive an ugly-ass truck. Do us all a favor, grow up, get over it, and don't expect me to bow down at your feet because, well, you can't hold a candle to HIM. Mike, the only thing exceeding the size of your ego is your vanity, your insecurity, your hubris, your lack of testicular fortitude, and your inability in anything other than being able to fool a compiler enough into thinking you can program a bit.

And, speaking of vanity, how does that song go, "you're so probably think this [blog] is about you....."

Gee, Mike, I guess you win again. I did write about you in my blog. It's all about YOU, isn't it?

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in "Carol's Little World" signing off.

Well, I had a nice surprisingly quiet evening with Dr. Tom last night. It was relaxing and enjoyable (except for the Tae Bo part of it which knocked me out but that's to be expected, I suppose). Speaking of Tao Bo, I had a bit of a letdown last night. I thought I would be overly ambitious and try to do the Advanced Tao Bo tape. About 30-40 minutes into it, I "bonked." It was horrible. I just could not get through anymore and just did not get a good enough workout. I guess it's to be expected, I mean, we are not born robots and we all have "bad hair days," even in the gym, but when it hits you in the face, instead of you hitting the Tao Bo bag in the face, it can hurt. I suppose, like a true Tao Bo trooper, I will pick myself up and try again tonight. I guess it just goes to show you that, just when you think you are getting a GOOD workout, something more "advanced" comes along and makes you feel out of shape, fat, old, ugly, etc.

On a more positive note, I got a call from a "head hunter" yesterday with several jobs in tow. I suppose the economy is picking up a bit, which is really nice. I hated the guilt of being one of the "employed" not to mention the hurt it has caused the Austin arts community. Don't get me wrong, I had a problem with kiddies (aka "green things") coming out of school and DEMANDING new boats/cars/2k advances/etc. for the, ahem, "pleasure" of working with them. That sucked. And it should never happen. I remember my first year out of college. I was a technical writer for 6 months before they would let me touch any code. And everybody kept telling me, if I worked really hard, I could become a "real" programmer someday. Little did I know that "UNIX" stuff I was writing (as well as the "RELAY" project) would turn into IRC and, well, Linux. How cool is that? In fact, the best piece of advice I have ever given to a "green thing" is to say, "take the coolness where you can get it, enjoy the breaks that you have, hope you can always work, always try to checkin code that compiles, and try not to piss anybody off. Too much." I suppose you can piss a lot of people off if you compile 900+ source files, as I do for my open source project. But, if you don't (piss anybody off that is) you too may get a 5 "code foo" on SourceForge. Oh, and don't give out your home number. Because your code will URP at the most inconvient time. And, when it does, you don't want to have to answer the phone. Let them use IRC. Heh, I wrote part of it, I can make it urp on demand (it is MY code, afterall. Remember, I said always checkin code that COMPILES but you can have URPs all over if you want, I suppose. They will be there anyway, so you may as well enjoy them too. Ah, there's more good advice, I suppose.)

How did I get on the subject of code? I suppose I did not want to tell you about Dr. Tom and all the "gory" details of last night. Ah, some things are best left un-blogged. I guess it's enough to say he has a mean side kick. But, then again, so do I. As long as I don't bonk, that is.

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in "Carol's Little World" signing off.

Wednesday, January 23, 2002

Seems my friend Ken has taken a liking to blogging as well. Here is a link to his blog. Hope you enjoy it.

In other news, it seems I have spent entirely too much of my blog blogging about blog. So, I will stop doing this for a while and instead turn to a different topic. I will tell you a little bit about myself (since I am getting folks who do not know me, I thought it would be wise to do this at this point in time anyway.)

My name is Carol (as you could probably have guessed.) I live in Austin, TX (actually Cedar Park but who's counting.) I work in Austin's high tech industry as a java/database programmer. I have worked for several (now failed) dot com's (dot bombs/whatever) including Ci2i,, Arrowsmith Technologies, etc. Least you think it was all my fault, I worked for a stint at Tivoli Systems (Austin's only high tech success story as of late). I still cannot eat at the Arboreteum for fear of running into a Tivoli friend who will ask me, "so when are you coming back?" I also worked on an open source project recently where I was rated a "5" foo on SourceForge (under an assumed name so nobody knows who I am, of course). Hey, I don't want anybody calling me, in the middle of the night, when one of my 900+ files urps.

I also enjoy a "career" as a fine art photographer and my work is exhibited in the Seattle Art Museum and several galleries in NY. Once I was in an exhbit with Joyce Tenneson which is about my only major claim to fame. I have been picked to be in about 30 or so national juried shows which, if you have never done it, is rather difficult. My work is mostly architectural details (not architecture in the true sense, more like windows, doors, fountains, that sort of stuff) and what I call "experimental" photography. I have a kind of reputation, in Austin anyway, for going off and doing "weird" (or "creative" if you want to be polite) work. Stuff like Polaroid manipulations, cross processing, shooting high speed film, blurry people, etc. I usually do not photograph people but I have photographed some "portraiture" for $$$ (mostly for other artists, folks who are a little "off" like myself and like "different" work, or for the music industry, where they all snort crack and wouldn't notice blurry photographs anyway.)

I am single, in case you did not know from the read. I am currently dating a Doctor ("Dr. Tom" in this blog) who lives a few blocks from my house (same sub-division...How yuppie can you get? Gosh, I should just kill myself now and go to the great mall in the sky.) In case you cannot tell from the read, my heart is not really "into" my current relationship as I carry a torch (a really, really BIG one, in fact) for HIM. HE who shall remain nameless (for now anyway). I am really quite shy and I'm a bit of a loner so, other than my photography or my work, I do not get out much. I like to blog because I used to be a writer of sorts, even though I am not very good. I eat far too many Doritoes, work out far too little, and drive a beat up old car ('88 Accord.)

This blog has become long enough. More about me late. It is now time for lunch.

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in "Carol's Little World" signing off.

Tuesday, January 22, 2002

Who shot Doggett? Where is Mulder's sister? And which side are the shape shifters really on? Hopefully, it will all be told in the finale (or some reasonable season-cliff-hanger type of deal until the next movie comes out.) Hey, you don't expect Chris Cater to just lay all his cards on the table, do you? He's just not that type of guy. It's not his nature.

BTW, yesterday's "second" blog was quite lame. I do believe I can blog one more time before "over blogging." Is there such a thing? Can you blog too much? Let your inner child rule the roost as it were? I suppose it's possible but I think it would take more than 1 blog per day to evoke such an "inner chaos." And, speaking of "chaos," a lot of Ci2i folks are wondering when (if?) they are going to get W-2 forms this year. Since the company went under, will we receive them? Who knows? I have recommended to all that you save your last paycheck and make due with this if it comes to it. I shall keep you posted and informed if (when?) I receive mine. I have received several from my former employers last year but, alas, not one from Ci2i. I find it strange that I had so many employers, but that's life in Austin high-tech (hey, that would make another good blog, all to itself, right?) This is turning into quite the scattered blog. Maybe I should switch topics again, just to confuse you. Nah. OK, here goes.

It's raining today. Not that I mind the rain, as I have always had a preference for dark, brooding weather. But, I've come to the conclusion that rainy days are a bit like "sleeping under the same sky." A foolish, romantic notion that has little to do with reality and more to do with dead poets. Not that I dislike dead poets, mind you, but they have little to do and far to reach to define present-day nirvana. I mean, maybe if I were living in Hawaii and could enjoy the soft, gentle rain failing off the lanai, hitting the water pool beneath me as I sleep in my hamock and enjoy the ocean breeze with the smell of the brackish waves dropping off the horizon wafting up to me. But, when you have to drive in Austin, rain just sucks. Period. You can't enjoy it. You can't relish it. You can't possibly pine for it. Most of the times, you cannot even sleep late. Which is half the appeal of a good rainstorm anyway. What's that they used to say about rainy days and Mondays? Now, there's a poet I can relate too. Today somehow feels like a rainy Monday.

And, to change the topic yet again, Ken has commented that I have devoted much too much time/space/blogness/whatever to the subject of "food" ("foodstuff," food "items," Doritoes, etc.) I will try to avoid the topic for today except to mention, in passing, that I'm not going to talk about food. HE is a great cook by the way. I can tell by the way he holds his knife, the vegetables he grows in his garden, and the pots in my kitchen he complimented. (SHE can hardly boil an egg, but that's HIS problem, right?) It was fun to watch THEM together in my kitchen. SHE could not hold the tea kettle to his cooking. All SHE did was complain about the cost of the "food items" which I said I would not talk about.

Maybe the smoking man can buy me some groceries. And, I bet alien implants are a lot cheaper than the real ones.

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in "Carol's Little World" signing off.

Monday, January 21, 2002

BTW, My friend Kathy has informed me that this is the last season of X Files:
E! Online News - "X-Files" Gets X-ed Out
Bummer. But, at least maybe now we will get some answers.
Well, it appears that I have gone one entire day (Sunday) without blogging. Yay! Now I can blog two times today. Maybe today's blog will make sense. Maybe it will be the best blog ever written. Maybe folks will line up from all over to see and read and experience my great blog. Maybe not. Hmmm. Either way, I shall enjoy posting for there is almost nothing I enjoy as much as blogging.

In other news, I am having a hard time deciding what I want to do for the super bowl. I am uncertain as to if I should have a party and invite all my friends over or if I should attend a party my neighbor is having. Right now I am leaning towards my neighbor just because I do not have a TV large enough. But, either way, I do want to see the commercials. The commercials are the best part of the game. Anything else is un-civilized. Who needs all that football crap, anyway?

I wish blogger had smilie faces like AIM. Other than that, it's perfect in every way. I suppose I could download some GIF or JPEGs of smilie faces and use those, but that would require work and knowledge of html, which is very anti-blog. Who am I to break the rules, right? I mean, I live in "Carol's Little World" which is basically trapped inside of this "blog" thing which dictates, among other things, how I type, when I post, what my postings look like, etc. In exchange, I get to free my mind and write about whatever is cluttering up my soul. I'll leave the HTML to the "experts" whoever they are, and just enjoy a nice blog in the morning sun.

In other news, Ken does not have to work today and he is out looking for apartments. I bet he is going to find a nice place, as the rents have come down. I'm so happy for him. I felt really bad after Ci2i had the layoffs and I was hoping that most folks would find something better. Ken was one of the lucky ones (or maybe it's skill, as he hunted for a job while a lot of the X-Ci2i folks sat on their duffs?) Ken has made out quite well as he's making more $$$, I think he likes his new job, and now he's moving to a new, better, cheaper place. Good for him. Now if only he could shoot Ted. And get away with it. Too bad, Ken. Capital murder is still a crime in this state. (And me without my smilie face.)

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in "Carol's Little World" signing off.

Saturday, January 19, 2002

I really must vow to stop posting blogs at midnight. As my friend Kat has indicated, "I think it was Van Gogh who cut off his ear, for whatever it's worth ...." She is indeed correct. What was I thinking (probably something about Doritoes). I wish I could turn this blogger thing "off" when either it's late or I'm stupid (or, for that matter, both). I know for a fact that, the next time I go for Chinese, my fortune cookie is going to read, "Help! I'm trapped in a blogger and I cannot get out."

Today was an interesting day. I went downtown to 6th and Blanco and did some shopping. I picked up a sofa table for my house. It's pretty. Cherry wood on top with silver metal legs. As much as I like the table (and the deal I got on it!) I can't help but remember all the times I went downtown, to 6th and Blanco, with HIM. We would sit on the patio at Z Tejas after a morning of shooting (when the light got crappy) and enjoy a plate of eggs. Ah, if only he knew my true feelings (I always wish'd HE'd pass me more eggs.) And, speaking of "shooting" I did some of that today too. Yes, it's true. My 1.5 year (or whatever it's up to) "shooting slump" has finally ended and I'm back shooting again. Don't think I got anything special, just tooled about the house with the camera as the sun was setting but there was a couple of shots I had to get "out of my system." Maybe they will make for some good manipulations (if I can find the damn daylab.)

And, to run this blog full circle, while I was downtown, I saw an exhibit on Ansel Adams' work. It was "hellacool" to use a cliche. Some of the prints were working prints and some were printed by him. His actual grubby hands touched the work, imagine that. Excellent work. It was great to see a bunch of it in one place. They also had a Paul Strand and another artist who's work I was not familiar with, but it blew me away. Great shot of deers running in b&w. I love the "blurry people" type of work (ok, so I like "blurry animals" too). Makes me want to take the dogs out into the yard for a run. I will be doing some blurry flowers photos this year, for certain. Can't wait. Soon it will be wildflower season. I hope it's a good one.

Hmm. I wonder if I'm going to get anything for valentine's day. Maybe I'll give myself implants. More $$ than roses but they do not die in a week. And chocolate would only make me fat.

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in "Carol's Little World" signing off.

Friday, January 18, 2002

My goodness, I was quite the typist last night. Er, rather, early this morning. What was I thinking? That is quite a blog for midnight. For those of you who do not know me...last night's blog is...well....peculiar to say the least. I find it interesting that, even when overly philosophical, I think of eating Doritoes. Perhaps I should re-name my blog "the many moods of Carol" or the "many faces of Carol" or maybe "the many (Doritoes!) temptations of Carol" in honor of such a blog. Nah. I'll just go back to my "little world," where it's safe and finish my incredibly good cup of tea. Harrods makes the best tea that comes in bags (or "cachets" as they call them). Period. Worth strapping myself into a plane and going over the damn pond to get more (even though they sell it online now, it's worth the trip).

Now if only I could go back to Mexico and make out with the tall, dark, handsome stranger who offered to teach me how to play chess. And, I wouldn't even need a passport for THAT. Come to think of it, I have a chess set. All I need to do is get HIM to come over and play. HE told me one time he goes over to Hyde Park Bar and Grill on a regular basis to play chess in that little open air cafe. Not quite Europe, England, or Mexico, but, heck, it'll do. I can almost picture him tooling about in his sports car, his long, silk scarf flowing about his neck and HE sits down for a game. (Somehow, I doubt SHE plays chess. I believe it takes an IQ higher than that of a brick to complete a fair game, as chess is quite the intellectual pursuit and SHE is quite the dumb blonde.)

Makes me wonder who the heck Earl Grey was anyway. And, did he play chess?

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in "Carol's Little World" signing off.
I guess more folks than I expected are reading Carol's Little World. A lot of folks are hung up on the lesbian and the THEY/HE/SHE themes that have been running throughout my week. I have been subject to numerous guesses for the names of the "guilty," none of which I will confirm or deny. When the timing is correct and I feel comfortable, I will reveal my innermost thoughts to the parties involved. Until then, I can just become depressed because, once again, I will sleep with Charlie and he will take up more than his share of the bed.

It's some kind of twisted romantic dream, that "sleeping under the same sky" deal is. It's not all it's cracked up to be. I mean, for what it's worth, you might as well be sleeping continents away. I just don't get the charm of sleeping in the same city as the one you crave and gazing out onto the sunset speculating if HE is noticing it too. Especially if HE does not know that you are alive (as is the case in point). Maybe one day HE will wake up and notice. HE will notice that HIS "little world" is based on the shallow, empty, hollow, existence that falls under the umbrella of the "attractive" the "easy" the "simple" the "obvious" and, yes, ok, maybe the large breasted. One day, the boredom will sneak up and pounce and he will yearn for something more substantial, something more spiritual, someone more intelligent, a lady of substance with whom he can share his thoughts and dreams and enjoy a meaningful conversation with the sunset in question serving as a mere backdrop. I mean, you cannot make a seven course meal out of Doritoes and expect to come away without orange fingertips once in a while, right?

Meanwhile, I sit across town waxing poetic in the wee hours of the morning. Hey, didn't anybody ever tell me that most poets always sleep alone? Oh well. Such is the life of a tortured artist. It's what drives me to paint and what drove Picasso to cut off his ear, I suppose. Love is such a cruel hoax and reality is a harsh mistress. I guess I'll stick to fiction, photography, and, oh yeah, Doritoes.

Besides, who says that, just because I'm ugly and not of the "large breasted" variety, that this implies I can provide anything more substantial than HER. Just because SHE is "pretty" doesn't rule out the fact that SHE is witty, charming, spiritual, intelligent, substantial...oh who I am kidding. I've seen HER breasts. She's a tramp. SHE knows it and so do I.

Now I really wonder how much implants cost.

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in "Carol's Little World" signing off.

Thursday, January 17, 2002

Well, it's 11:52 and I am having my lunch. A bunch of folks just went out to Flores restaurant but I decided that I would be anti-social and eat at my desk. I like my desk. It's comfortable and has a lava lite on it. I just finished my cheese sandwich on this really great sourdough rye bread I got at HEB on Parmer Lane (cool place) and have decided that I am addicted to this blogger thing. I mean, I think I would die if I had to pickup a telephone and actually TALK to another humanoid, but blogging is ok. I guess this is my "inner computer geek" coming out and rearing it's ugly head. But, alas, this does not explain the midget on a tricycle (does anything explain that? Hmmm.) I still wonder too how they get the rye seeds to stick to the sourdough bread, but that's a topic for another blog.

In other news, THEY went out to lunch again today. SHE is always complaing that she doesn't have any money. SHE tries to act dumb around him, figuring HE would be attracted to the "dumb blonde with big boobs" ploy. Guess it works. It works for most men and, since I am neither blonde or "mammorically enhanced" (is that a good word for "implants" or what?? Sometimes I even scare myself) I will stick to my new "I'm a lesbian go away" theme for the week. Hey, except for the fact that I may stir up some unwanted lesbian friends (who are usually stirred-up anyway) this plan is flawless. I think I shall become a lesbian permanently (and just not tell anybody I'm not actually having sex with other women.) I mean, who would know, except for maybe my dog Charlie, and he doesn't care. In fact, if I could, I would turn him into a humanoid and marry him. He's perfect in every way (except for the fact that he takes up more than half the bed and he farts a lot in mixed company).

Hmmm. I wonder how much implants cost.

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in "Carol's Little World" signing off.

I just finished a good workout and decided it was time to blog. I have been doing 20 minutes on my exercise bike followed by 35 minutes of Tae Bo. I don't know why. I'm fat as a house and not about to get any thinner. Besides, it's not like anybody would notice anyway. I'm the type of woman men just don't look out, regardless of how fat or thin I am.

I went out tonight and out again. First I went to Mexican restaurant with some folks from work. They do not like me much and I felt very uncomfortable there so I left. (They make fun of me and think I am too stupid to notice, but the truth is I just don't care.)

After this wonderful experience, I went out with HIM and HE was with HER. Ugh. Talk about uncomfortable. I was like little Miss "5th wheel" and have decided that, except for the making love to woman part, I want to become a lesbian. It's much easier. You do not have to deal with men. Heck, I can even open my own mayo jars! What do I need a man for? Maybe to un-stop the toilet but, hey, that's once a year. At most. And, right now anyway, I'm tempted to just move quick before it REALLY backs up.

On another bright note (to add an end to my already shinning evening) I found out who has been running around my front lawn, sans clothing. Seems my neighbor in the back let his dog out, wasn't wearning much, and the rest, as they say, is history. How did I find this out, you ask? Well, it wasn't pretty I can tell you that much (Went out the back door to enjoy the evening air and saw him without clothing in his kitchen.) If my beer belly ever gets THAT big, please keep me from running around without clothing. It would be a service to all those involved (not to mention the BEER).

Until next time, this is Carol, the Carol in "Carol's Little World" signing off.

Wednesday, January 16, 2002

Well, this is my first introduction into the world of blog. I hope it works. Ken, are you happy now? I have become a "blogger girl" (whatever that is.)

I still refuse to comment about the people doing cartwheels on my front lawn.